Skyrim: Riften You Bastard

I found this article particularly lol-worthy, especially since I just got finishing bitching to whoever would listen about what a shitty hole Riften is.

(Riften is no happy vacation destination.)

"I don’t care for Riften. Well, that statement isn’t really fair. I hate Riften. I hate Riften, and I wish it would burn to the ground, and I wish everyone who lives here would also burn the the ground, and I wish a bunch of giants would come and push dirt and rocks over the ashes, and I wish that whenever anyone asked about the giant dirty rock pile that smells like burnt dead bodies that sits where Riften used to be, the giants would shrug as if they didn’t know.

That’s my wish for Riften." 

 ~Christopher Livingston

I didn't fare much better than poor Christopher.
Here's he only screenshot I got of Riften because I was busy being cheesed off at the irritating happenings and the deplorable beings that reside therein:

Sapphire's face might say 'piss off', but her heart says... well actually her heart says 'piss off', too.

And as far as weddings go, I don't really give a rat's ass.
I got the necessary amulet almost by accident, and I should have throttled the well-meaning monk with it.

But now that I've learned what having a spouse entails in Skyrim, I might just scoop up innkeeper Wilhelm from Ivarstead. He's affable enough, and really all that matters is if he can cook a mean Elsweyr Fondue and look good in a French Maid's outfit, amirite?

Ooh la la!